19 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity

1. At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN."

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone has gotten over his or her caffeine addiction, switch to espresso.

6. Leave your coworkers memos reminding them that if they build it they will come.

7. Finish all your sentences with "... in accordance with the prophecy."

8. Don't use any punctuation.

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

11. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."

12. Sing along at the opera.

13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their after-work outing because you're not in the mood.

16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.

17. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream, "I won! I won! This is the third time this week!"

18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!"

19. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."