Rant...

Rant Alert - Please ignore the following rant if you are of a nervous disposition or are sensitive to bad language.

Why is it always the same? Whay do I always feel so bad just after I visit my girlfriend or she visits me? I always feel like I fucked up. She is the one who doesn't seem to make an effort. Everything she does for me seems to be out of a sort of responsibility. She's my girlfriend, so she should do these things, not because she wants to but because she feels she is required to. Is it so fucking wrong to want her to want me as much as I want her? Is it so wrong that I'd like to feel wanted now and again. Is it so wrong that I hate it when she belittles me. I swallow my prides, take it, for the sake of avoiding an arguement, but it's eating me up inside. She realises sometimes that she is doing it and she apologises, but soon after we're back to the same old thing. And it's not that I'm having a go at her, I just feel like I gotta vent some steam. I spent 15minutes last night punching the wall, letting go of the frustration. I feel like it's my fault, like I made a mess of things. I just feel so helpless sometimes, so alone.

And despite all this bullshit, I can't imagine my life without her...

Rant over - sorry to everyone who had to read that little breakdown.