The Big Issue

I'm not over Claire* yet.


At least that's how I felt last night. I was flicking through the channels, looking for something to watch, and I came across the MTV VMAs 2004. It was Usher's performance of "Yeah" and as soon as I heard the music I was back in my favourite club, dancing with Claire. We loved dancing together to that song. We were in sync with that song. And lying in bed, watching the TV, listening to that song, knowing that myself and Claire would never dance together like that again I got really depressed and upset. So much so, that I actually had to turn off the TV and go to sleep. Last night I felt like my heart was breaking all over again.

Today is different. Today I feel remorse that it's over, but I'm okay with it. I miss chatting to her, and it's eating me up inside that she's ignoring me, but I'm okay. I'm not pining after her, I'm not texting or calling her every few days (hell I've given up trying to make contact at all). I just miss talking to her. We were good friends, apart from being boyfriend and girlfriend. I think I miss my friend more than anything.

I just read the last two paragraphs and I realise I'm contradicting myself. But that's what heartache will do to you.



* Names changed